Lidl.

Since us Irish were hit full force with the recession and have accordingly ceased having ‘notions’* about ourselves, Lidl and Aldi have become the New Black in shopping terms.

Who amongst us can say they haven’t popped in for a discounted free-range chicken and come out with a hovercraft or an **angle grinder?

I have found that I always seem to end up at the checkout line of the most stunningly beautiful Polish girl.

(I say Polish, I haven’t a clue really, but let’s just go with it…)

Her ethereal face is perfectly proportioned, fine boned and almost feline.

She has a very unsettling habit of making direct eye contact with me as soon as I join the queue, then she constantly glances away momentarily, only to return to a dead-eyed stare right into my eyes.

It is impossible to look away once she turns those ice cold blue eyes on me.

I have never seen her smile. Ever.

I smile, and always say hello when it’s my turn at the till. She replies with a barely perceptible nod.

She continues to just stare at me… as if trying to read my mind, or see the secrets of my soul.

I remain kind of scared of her, but drawn to her at the same time.

One day, one day I will make her smile…

Ciao

💋

* Notions: an Irishism describing people who have ideas above their stations, delusions of grandeur.

** You will find the angle grinder is a useful aide in getting rid of past spontaneous ‘bargains’ at a later date.