Trapped…

I have hurt my foot.

I have no idea how it happened.

I have no idea what is wrong with it.

An x-ray has ruled out a fracture so I remain in pain but with no diagnosis.

60mg of codeine did nothing to ease my suffering. Its only effect was to render me a spaced out, confused, mumbling mess. I no longer bother with it.

Apart from the pain, my chief complaint is my enforced house arrest. It is impossible for me to walk more than a meter without the pain becoming so bad I need to stop. Furthermore, to compensate for the pain I have developed a rather awkward limp, which results in more shooting pain up my leg, and a feeling of shin splints in both legs.

I do not drive.

My mode of transport are my feet.

Without use of my legs and feet I am housebound.

This is driving me crazy!

I need fresh air!

I need to see people!

I need to shop!

I need to get out of this goddamned house!

I must rely on my OH to bring me to the shops once he gets home from work. The feelings of dependency and helplessness are hard for me to endure.

I bore the affliction of being immobile many years ago due to an illness and this is a reminder of those immensely frightening and dark days.

Recalling and re-experiencing feeling I never wanted to encounter again.

Feeling…

Helpless

Powerless

Weak

Feeble

Dependent

Vulnerable

I want to put on my shoes and coat and leave the house.

I have no place I need to go, I just want to feel the freedom of knowing I can walk when I want to.

Instead I sit here, typing. Trying to connect with another human being via my blog, twitter and Facebook.

It’s no good though.

I remain trapped.

💋 

 

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Trapped…

  1. This must be so frustrating for you! And the fact the doctors can’t offer a diagnosis is rubbish! Really hope it gets better soon x

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