To Unfollow or Not To Unfollow… that is the question

I love

I would even go so far as to say it has changed my life… for the better.

It so happens that the reason I started this blog was thanks to the encouraging words and advice from someone on twitter, who has become a much-valued friend. (If you are reading this Minna, once again, thank you!)

I live a fairly solitary existence, and twitter has brought so many kind, funny, inspiring and interesting people in to my life. It allows me to be the truly outgoing person I naturally am. It allows me to connect with other people, share life experiences, stories and jokes.  I log on each day looking forward to seeing what my friends are up to and how their lives are moving along.

I have been amazed by the warm-heartedness and generosity of people there. A few lovely souls were very quick to pick up on my low mood last month, and the level of concern and support they offered was genuinely touching.

I have discovered through DMs that people, who present publicly as carefree, often carry terrible burdens and unhappiness in their lives. It has made me more aware that no one, however happy they seem, escapes this life unscarred. I have felt privileged that they allowed me into their world, and honoured to be able to help them by simply listening or offering words of support and empathising with them.

However, as with everything in life, there are downsides to twitter.

The haters.    The trolls.    The subtweeteers.

Don’t get me started on the repeat RT offenders or spammers!

I have encountered nastiness and inappropriate behavior.  I follow relatively few men after some unpleasant encounters. The guys I do follow are funny and know when they are overstepping the mark. They are not out to deliberately hurt or cause offence.

It was with genuine regret that I unfollowed one lovely girl, who I did like, simply because of the sheer volume of porn she was posting everyday. My TL seemed to be clogged full of vaginas and boobs and I simply couldn’t take it anymore!

I have one ‘friend’, although it’s more accurate to call them a frenemy I think, who has created a dilemma for me for a while now.  Over time we have established a substantial list of mutual friends. At times this person is funny, interesting, and enjoyable to chat to. From very early days they revealed traits I disliked but decided to ignore, as on balance I liked them.  They can be cutting and can have a mean streak, which is something I don’t enjoy witnessing. There is a difference between poking fun, teasing and sarcasm and being nasty and cruel.  My philosophy in life is to leave people happier than they were before they met you.

By far my biggest gripe with them is how passive aggressive they can be.

(Yes, I am more than aware of the irony of me blogging criticism about an unnamed person being passive aggressive, thank you!)

My usual style would be to unfollow and carry on with my twitter life. However I feel this case is more complicated. I’m worried that our mutual friends will notice and inquire as to why I would do this. I dislike conflict to the extent that I would rather leave the status quo than risk a falling out with people.

I know I am acting childishly and cowardly. I should ‘man up’ and either discuss this with the person via DM, or unfollow and deal with the possible backlash.

I would be interested to hear your views on this matter.

Have you made frenemies in life or on social media?

How did you deal with them?

Do you think I am making a mountain out of a mole hill?



2 thoughts on “To Unfollow or Not To Unfollow… that is the question

  1. There are a lot of haters out there, I don’t understand why they go out of their way to make other people unhappy.

    I love your line “My philosophy in life is to leave people happier than they were before they met you.” If everyone was to adopt this philosophy then your post wouldn’t exist. I aspire to that philosophy.

    If you are worried that your other twitter friends will take sides or not approve of you unfollowing this mutual “friend” then this is a dilemma! Personally I hate conflict too and would choose to just ignore your “friend” – hey they might even end up unfollowing you – win-win!

    Love your blogs – keep em coming!

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