To escape from your life?
To flee the everyday, habitual drudgery of your existence?
I frequently revel in the fantasy of leaving my house one day with my bank and credit card and a few basic items, jumping on a bus to the airport and simply buying a ticket for the first flight I see.
I will land in my new home with no plans and no past, only possibilities.
I can be anyone I wish to be.
What name do I choose?
How will I dress?
What aspects of me do I reveal and what do I keep hidden?
In my fantasy I will meet a stranger… male of course.
He is dangerous and wild, and I will let him seduce me. I will do things with him, and allow him to do things to me that I have never experienced before with anyone else. I will be reckless and uninhibited.
This is because to him, I am anonymous.
He knows nothing of me. He holds no knowledge of my past.
He knows only the woman I appear to be.
Can you imagine the freedom of being anonymous?
Can you feel the excitement of the prospect of reinventing yourself, free of other people’s memories, assumptions and judgements about you? My heart races at the prospect.
I did enjoy a few years of wild and reckless fun with some highly entertaining and exciting Bad Boys before I settled down to a life of suburban domesticity with the OH, who, bless his heart, is the polar opposite of a Bad Boy.
I wonder why I have this fantasy to escape my life sometimes?
Is it a longing to return to my youth?
Is it a craving for danger and excitement that daily cooking and cleaning simply cannot satisfy?
Or, maybe, do I need to reassess my life, take a good look at it and decide if I need to make changes?
Perhaps, it is normal to dream of an alternative life?
After all, how many of us do not have a small Walter Mitty aspect to us?
Am I alone in this urge to escape, to run away, to reinvent myself, without the limitations and constrictions of the past?