So I am a slut now???

FullSizeRenderSo… today I got called a slut on twitter.

An “attention seeking slut” to be exact.

I felt this remark like a punch straight to my stomach.

I was shocked and hurt.

It hurt even more because another woman had tweeted it…

First of all, I detest the word slut, and everything it represents – misogyny, shame, double standards, judgment, ignorance.

Secondly, I would NEVER call another woman a slut, whore, tramp or any other derogatory word that places judgment on her for simply being a sexual creature.

So what did I do to deserve this label?

I will never know for sure, because she unfollowed and blocked me, on twitter and Instagram. So basically, I am dead to her!

I had spent part of yesterday having an enjoyable chat with another person this woman followed and I tweeted him a link to my erotica blogs.

I can only speculate that perhaps that was one step too far in her eyes…

How dare I seek attention in such a way? And with a guy she was friends with? How outrageous of me!

(She then blocked this lovely guy also, much to his disappointment…)

I discovered later that, apparently, she has always felt threatened by me and my confidence and approachable style of interacting.

That is fair enough I guess, but why not discuss this with me?

Or simply unfollow me.

That’s the beauty of twitter…. No one is forced to interact with anyone else if they don’t want to.

But, to label me a slut, simply because I see no problem admitting I love sex?

Because I write some erotic stories?

Because my stories have a bit of kink to them?

Because I flirt on twitter?

Cooooooome on!

I am an adult woman, who has experienced enough shit in my life to have at last grown into being comfortable in my own skin.

After years of fear and hiding my true self, I have finally accepted that I am sexual… so what? We all are!

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My writing has helped me to discover parts of myself I was scared to fully and openly explore before. I have connected with amazing people who are on a similar journey as myself, exploring their sexuality and their true, core selves. I feel profound gratitude that I have met these new friends, and if I could hug each one of you for helping me to accept that I have nothing to feel shame about, I would hug you guys so hard!

I have decided that this woman on twitter must be a deeply unhappy and, perhaps angry, person who deserves my sympathy rather than wrath.

Perhaps she will one day begin to look inwards, to try to figure out why she ever felt the need to be so unnecessarily hurtful and bitter toward a person who was never anything less than respectful and friendly towards her.

I make it my daily goal to leave whomever I encounter happier than before they met me.

I aim to spread some kindness and joy, always, never pain.

I compliment complete strangers in shops FFS!

I hurt if I suspect I have caused any other person discomfort.

I simply do not believe in judging people, because, who the hell am I to cast any critical eye over them or the way they chose to live their lives?

I do not know what burdens they may be carrying that cause them to be unpleasant or rude.

I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt.

So, it is with a heavy heart that I share this account of my day with you.

My hope is that this perhaps makes you think before you say anything hurtful to someone, even someone you only know through social media.

Think twice; ask yourself how you would feel in their shoes?

How you would feel if someone called you or your special person that name?

Thanks for reading this…. In order to live up to my new monocle I will resume the filth very soon, I promise!

x

 Copyright 2014, illicitthoughts.wordpress.com

All rights reserved.

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22 thoughts on “So I am a slut now???

  1. I tried to reblog but it won’t let me 😦 This is beautifully said, Kat! You are one of the nicest, sweetest, most open, generous people I’ve met, and I’m honored to call you a friend. Hugs!

  2. Ugh is all I can say. We’ve only just met, but “attention seeking slut” is not how I would remotely describe you. I’ve enjoyed reading your work, and the interactions we’ve started to have. I like you and will continue to support the work of a fellow writer and friend!

  3. I read this somewhere, can’t remember where exactly, but sometimes it fits the situation perfectly:
    Those that matter don’t mind
    Those that mind don’t matter
    Hope that helps.

  4. That’s a Dr Zuess quote and in full it’s “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind” I have this on my fb page and you are right dodgysurfer it fits perfectly.

  5. Life seeking lady fits the bill more then the rudeness of attention seeking slut. Sorry its all got nasty for you, this female really isn’t worth your thoughts, other then the beautifully written piece above. Stay strong

  6. It’s sad that woman use this type of language against each other. Your erotica stories are fantastic…keep writing them. Too bad she can’t embrace her sexuality and appreciate all things sex.

  7. She was jealous of you. And that means there’s a lot about you that she wishes she could emulate but cannot. She’s an unhappy and bitter woman. Anyone who intentionally hurts another person is lashing out because of some kind of pain that lives deep inside them. But enough of that b***ch. I like you and enjoy your blog! It’s different and creative. Best regards.

  8. “Slut” is one of the most degrading things you could call a woman. Men who act the exact same way as a “slut” are christened “studs” and “bro’s.” It’s not right. Great post, and I love your blog! Care to check out mine?(: Downwiththenorm.com

  9. There’s enough meanness in the world. If I can’t say a kind word or offer encouragement, I shut the hell up. You know who you are, and you’re happy with it? To me that’s awesome.

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