Manners Maketh the Man

Boyfriends… I’ve had few, (to misquote ole Blue Eyes himself).

Referring to the, always accurate, Urban Dictionary definition below, I think perhaps I was seriously duped in my youth.

FullSizeRenderLet’s see…

There was the charmer who, in full knowledge that I could not swim, held me out over the edge of a pier by my ankles. Yeah that was a fun date! Did I mention the fact that he had epilepsy and could have had a seizure at any moment? Yeah what a prince…

Next up, meet the Casanova who invited me over to his place to spend the day while his parents were out of town. I arrived to discover a gang of his mates in the TV room, watching porn, inviting me to sit and watch along with them. Um… interesting offer guys but I think I’ll pass on this one. I left.

Every couple argues, that’s fine, but when a man a foot taller than you punches the wall next to you so hard, his watch flies off his wrist… Is it just me, or is that not really gentlemanly behaviour?


I abandoned the notion of BFs in college, choosing the much more laid back, hook-up approach.

No commitment, no strings, no expectations. If we hook up more than once, it doesn’t mean we are ‘a thing’, type of style.

It worked, it was fun.

Until one night…

Walking home alone from the pub, I met a new friend walking towards me. He was headed home too and lived at the opposite end of town to where I was staying. We stopped and chatted for a minute, and then he tilted his head and shyly asked if he could walk me home. I don’t do speechless very often people, but this simple act of chivalry and old-fashioned sweetness left me stumped. I replied, pointing out the fact that he was so close to his home and that he would be walking quite an extra distance for no reason. He smiled and said that he would enjoy it.

I do believe, even though I didn’t know it at the time, I fell in love at that moment.


He walked me home, we talked for a while at my door. He made no moves. When we finished talking he simply turned, waved and left. I went to bed thinking of him and how… nice he was. And I don’t mean nice in an insipid way. I mean nice as in polite, lovely, funny, kind.

We became closer friends. We laughed a lot.

Over a midterm break, I missed him so much that I realised that I didn’t want to be just his friend. It hit me, a month or so after he first walked me home, that I was crazy about him.

When college resumed, we got it together… (that is a story for another day…)

It was the happiest, most wonderful relationship I had ever had in my life. We couldn’t bear to apart. We craved each other’s company. We were best friends who fancied the pants off each other, and we were crazily in love.

After all my shitty Bad Boy BFs, after my meaningless flings, that one act of gallantry, courtesy and manners was such a refreshing change that it made me focus my sights on a Good Guy.

That Good Guy became the OH and he is still a gentleman.

Except when he is pissing me off…



ps... he does this too!

ps… he does this too!

Copy right, 2015,

All rights reserved.

9 thoughts on “Manners Maketh the Man

  1. I love this. “Please” “thank you” and holding the door open for stranger (regardless of gender) was passe. It ain’t hip to be considerate and kind. I live in the Southern US and I’ve yet to see much of their famous southern hospitality. Exceptions, of course, just as not all Canadians are polite. Nope. Amazing what a kind and considerate gesture can do. It can start a smile. Isn’t that a great way to start a friendship?

  2. Pingback: F4TF #13 – Dealbreakers | illicit thoughts

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s