25 Songs, 25 Days (Day 2)


IMG_3004

Day 2

Sinead O’Connor – Nothing Compares To You (1990)

I was 17, he was 21.

I was madly, insanely, hopelessly in love with him.

I thought he was too.

We slow danced to this song in our local nightclub after he told me he was leaving to work on a building site in Belgium. (yes! fucking Belgium! The dullest fucking country known in existence! He left me for fucking Belgium! Um… Apologies to any Belgian readers…)

I remember my arms around his waist, (me:5′, him:5’11”), my tears soaking into his shirt. The lyrics summed up how I knew I would feel once he had left. So, I clung to him as we danced, savouring the feeling of his arms around me, the scent of him, the warmth of his flat torso.

He left the morning of my art exam for my Leaving Certificate, (think A-levels/High School Diploma).

I ran to the train station in my school uniform to see him off… He was there in his faded jeans, leather jacket and cowboy boots, long blond curls glowing in the sunlight, his backpack resting on the ground between his knees.

The fucker got on that train without a second glance back… I went back to my exam, face puffy from crying…

I got over him. With a little help from his very, very hot best friend! ¬†ūüėą

Ciao!

ūüíč

Copyright, 2015, k1kat.com

All rights reserved.

It’s Not All About Sex…


I posted what I hope is an interesting piece outlining my developing views on BDSM and what it means to me on my other blog, illicitthoughts. I think that it is worth sharing here, as you guys and gals accompany me on my little journey through life!

So… if you didn’t catch it first time around, here we go again!


I love receiving feedback and comments on all three of my blogs.

It makes my day that someone has, not only taken the time to read my stories or articles, but has gone that extra mile and actually shared their thoughts with me.

I will take this opportunity to say a massive thank you to all my readers who have ever left me a comment. If I don’t always reply, it is because I am a WP dimwit that hasn’t checked the Unapproved folder on my dashboard… trust me I value every comment and always try to reply to you!

Unknown

This post has been prompted by two recent events.

I have a lovely new friend with whom I have been enjoying many truly stimulating and thought-provoking conversations, about all sorts of things, but in particular, our shared interest in BDSM.

Inspired by some of our discussions, I tried my hand at a new angle in my erotic writing, by creating a story based on a relationship between a masochistic sub¬†and her sadist Dom. I loved the challenge of trying to get the dynamics just right, trying to set the mood and recreate the feelings of each party involved in the scene.¬†The level of physical brutality and the language I used in the story was a change of style for me and I found it incredibly liberating to step away from my usual patterns and stretch myself. I was beyond delighted when my friend, (who is much more au fait with the S side of S/M than I am), gave me a glowing thumbs up for accuracy and mood. The next day I was equally thrilled when another friend, this time a female masochist sub, said, “Fuck yes, Yes yes yes. I may or may not be playing¬†with myself¬†to that story rn…” Trust me, as a writer of erotica, THAT is the best review you can get!

However, not all my comments were 100% glowing! (And, for the record, let me say that I never expect to receive only positive feedback. In my opinion all feedback, positive, negative and everything in-between is valuable to me as a writer. There is always room to learn and improve.)

This morning I read a comment from a reader,¬†MyLovingWife, who had been reading my new story “Sir and Little Girl… Knife Play“, perfectly happily until they encountered the word “slut”, which completely threw them and, in their own words, “it turned me off“. My reader also felt that the physical interaction in my story could be seen as “abusive”.

I replied by thanking them, sincerely, for their feedback and clarifying that I never condone abuse in any form and that, in the context of BDSM, the word “slut” is in fact a term of affection or praise even. We entered into an interesting discussion from there and, I’m pleased to say, I do believe we both left it feeling that we understood each other’s points of view much better than we did at the start.

This is another reason I love receiving comments; even ones that could be perceived as negative do not have to lead to confrontation or discord, and can in fact be the spark of an exchange of views and even the start of a new friendship. Personally, I didn’t perceive MyLovingWife’s comments as negative at all. Rather, I identified with their unease with words and descriptions that are foreign or offensive to them, having been there myself several times.

I thought about this encounter, my own ever-developing and altering attitudes towards sex and BDSM, and the conversations between my friend and I, and I felt that writing a piece about what BDSM is, what is means, (to me and to others), would be an interesting exercise, for me, and hopefully, for my readers!

I also expect I will receive comments from people who will have very different opinions and beliefs to mine, as well as from people who are much more well informed and knowledgeable about the world of BDSM than I am.

I welcome it all and expect to learn from anything you guys choose to share with me.


I have always been fascinated by everything to do with¬†paraphilia. The diverse range of things us human beings can be attracted to or aroused by is, it seems, limitless! I have read about the subject… a lot!

Also, I have had a leaning towards BDSM for as long as I can remember having the feeling that I am a sexual being. For me, sexual arousal has alway been linked to power, vulnerability, dominance, submission and yeah… pain! It is simply how I am wired. I struggled with it, denied it, pushed it away for a long time.

I have to tell you, accepting myself as I am, and educating myself about my needs and desires, is perhaps the most liberating experience of my life. I no longer feel embarrassed, ashamed, odd or different.

I am not bad, dirty, (well, yeah I am, but you know what I mean!), disgusting, perverted or sick.

I have a sexual orientation as real and as valid as heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality and all the other combinations and permutations you can derive from those!

FYI: If you are reading this, and you consider anything outside of heterosexuality to be wrong in any way, this is not the blog for you, my friend!

So, allow me, if you will, to clear up some common misconceptions about BDSM with a few very useful graphics.

IMG_2988

IMG_2989I hope it is clear from these excellent charts that BDSM is an enjoyable, reciprocal and, most importantly, consensual form of relationship between two adults who share complimentary needs.

I have found people in the BDSM world to be some of the most open, caring, nonjudgemental and friendly, welcoming people I have ever encountered. A true Dominant or submissive is highly respectful in their interactions with others and they are usually highly skilled communicators.

People outside the lifestyle struggle to understand the dynamics of a¬†*D/s relationship and do often see it as a form of abuse. The language used in BDSM can be confusing for people outside it. Even I struggled with the word “slut” before I truly understood the way it is used in a BDSM context. To quote a female friend who is a sub, “being called a slut makes me feel like I’ve really achieved something!”

Other subs enjoy being called, “whore”, “bitch”, “little girl”, “little one”, “pet”, “slave”, the list goes on!

To put it simply… as long as the person being called the name is happy to be called it, even derives pleasure from it, surely that is all that matters?

A final point I very much want to make is this…¬†It really, really isn’t all about sex!

That is perhaps the single biggest misconception about BDSM out there. People think that we live this way because it is all about dressing up, tying each other up, slapping, spanking and whipping each other, having all manner of kinky sex… and yes, we do!

But there is so much more to it than that.

Quoting my ever-so-elequant friend who described it as;

It’s meeting needs that cannot be meet in any other way. You’re open and vulnerable in a way you simply aren’t in any other relationship. This is something we need in our souls. What’s more intimate than filling that space in someone’s very core, or they in you? It’s the closest we can get to truly joining our hearts I believe. It’s trust, it’s communication, it’s an exchange of energy. Nothing else comes close in my experience.”

Now… that is definitely about more than wearing latex and handcuffs!

A BDSM relationship will be based on the most¬†honest, intense, soul-baring communication you could possibly imagine. A Dom needs to understand his sub inside out in order to fulfil her needs, and his, without causing her, or him, physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual harm. A sub needs to understand and know her Dom fully, in order to be able to trust her wellbeing and safety to him and, in turn, offer him her greatest gift… her submission.

I have barely scratched the surface of BDSM, believe me!

If I have sparked your interest, there is a wealth of information out there, some true, some false, so be selective what you read. Trust me when I tell you that 50 Shades of Grey is definitely NOT to be considered a handbook!

If you have comments or questions, you know I will be delighted to read and reply to them. If you have more information, or can point me in the direction of more, please do so!

I will end by saying this…

Whatever it is that you like to do, whatever makes you happy, as long as it does no harm to anyone else, just do it, enjoy it and have fun!

Leave self judgement, shame and society’s ignorance and bigotry at the door.

Life is short people! Live it how you want to.

*Note: D/s can be male/female, female/male, male/male, female/female and everything in-between! I simply used Dom/sub in my personal context of male/female

**Many thanks to MyLovingWife and to my lovely friend for inspiring me today! 

Copyright, 2015, illicitthoughts.wordpress.com

All rights reserved.

 

25 Songs, 25 Days (Day 1)


I found this little game online, and thought it’d be fun to blog my answers.

I’m sure many of you will have come across it before, but hey! why not join me and play along?

IMG_3004

Day 1

Clout –¬†Substitute¬†(1978)

Grooving in my chair, singing along now as I play this on YouTube! Ah the memories!

I was 6 when this song came out and I loved it! Whenever it came on the radio, I would sing along, loudly, passionately, with feeling!

Cute image, yeah? It gets… well, cuter?

I was an odd kid…

I, for some reason unknown to me now, always sang it “I’ll be your prostitute, whenever you need me, yeah, yeah…”

I suspect I must have sang it wrong once and got quite the reaction from my parents and thus continued to do it for the comic effect. I was then, (and still am to this day), a little performer who gets her kicks out of entertaining people.

To be clear, I had no idea what a prostitute was at the tender age of 6… but I knew how to get a laugh from people!

That song is gonna be in my head all day now… “I’ll be your prostitute…

ūüėā ¬†ūüé§

Ciao!

ūüíč

Addendum: Jeez guys! I must be getting ooooold coz I just realised I already did this challenge before on KittyKat! That time, my impatient nature came through and I decided to answer all 25 prompts in one go, rather than follow the rules of answering one a day…

So.. I offer you a choice.

Click 25 Songs, 25 Days¬†to read my first attempt and you decide if I should quit now, or… if you would like me to continue the game, but this time I’ll do it one day at a time and give a more in-depth explanation, as I did today.

Give me your answers in my comments section. And forgive this daft old lady for her senior moment!

Copyright, 2015, k1kat.com

All rights reserved.

Calling all readers and writers of erotic fiction!


Regular readers of KittyKat might be aware of the fact that I run two other blogs, where I publish my erotic fiction. If you haven’t yet discovered it, and would like to give it a whirl, please click illicitthoughts¬†and MsTsecretgarden¬†and explore my sexier, kinkier side!

I am always looking for feedback, so I am reblogging a research article I posted to both my other sites. If you have read mine, or another writer’s, erotica or, if you write¬†it yourself, I would be so grateful if you would read my reblog and take a couple of minutes to click on my polls.

Thank you and happy reading and writing!


I was asked yesterday on twitter why I write erotica.

My answer was easy… it is enormous fun and, to be honest, it comes easier and more naturally to me than any other genre. Whatever that says about me… I will leave to my readers and, possibly my future shrink, to decide.

I have ¬†been asked if I ever get off on other people’s writing… well, doh! Of course!

I have come across, (pardon the dreadful pun!), many excellent writers, and have certainly felt tingles whilst reading their stories.

If a person can write about sex in an arousing manner, avoiding cliché, whilst maintaining a balance between fantasy and credibility, it is, in my humble opinion, a sure indicator of whether the writer possesses true talent and skill.

It is no easy feat… all too often we fall foul of “quivering staffs” and, dare I quote it…¬†*“puckered love cave”?!

And, fair is fair! I would never ask you a question I ¬†am not prepared to answer myself so…

Yes, I¬†do¬†get aroused whilst writing my own fiction too! I figure if it is not¬†making me squirm in my seat as I type, ¬†it is not going to make you squirm either! So, I sit at my kitchen table, picturing scenes, sometimes miming out some actions to see if I am describing them accurately… yeah, my neighbours get an eyeful!

If you would do me the great favour of answering my polls I would be simply delighted and forever grateful. I promise it will not take more than 3 minutes of your time!

I am always striving to improve and always aim to please my readers.

I very much want to keep giving you all stories and material that interests and, yep, stimulates you!

No need to leave any personal details, just click on your answers, and if you can expand at all, please do so in my comments section. Feedback is always welcome and I hope it helps me improve and keep y’all happy!

Thanks guys and gals!

I do love y’all!

ūüíč


*as if you didn’t already know! 50 Shades of Grey, EL James.

Copyright, 2015, k1kat.com

All rights  reserved.

Word for Wednesday (W4W) #03


To recap…

Every Wednesday I will select a word that I either love/hate/is special to me. I will write a short piece about why this word matters to me and invite others to join in.

If you would like to join in, simply tag your post W4W and link back to me.

No prizes, it’s just for fun!

Today’s word is

Lily

Anyone who reads my blog or follows me on Twitter knows about my Lily, my little Bichon Frise, AKA The Love Of My Life.

Quite simply, I adore her and she adores me. I cannot move but Lily is there at my side. As I type this she is nestled into the crook of my back on the kitchen chair.

She knows all my secrets. She sees everything. I am eternally grateful that she cannot talk.

One particularly, (and perhaps weirdly), cute little habit of hers is that whenever she is brought outside to attend to her toilet needs, she maintains direct eye contact with me as she pees or poops, her little black eyes never once leaving mine. It makes me giggle every time.

She was named Lily because as soon as I saw her my mind went directly to the brilliantly wicked and scathing comedian Lily Savage. Look at this and tell me you can’t see the resemblance?!

Lily

Lily

Lily... but which Lily?

Lily… but which Lily?

Looking forward to seeing what everyone else comes up with!

Ciao!

ūüíč

Copyright, 2015, k1kat.com

All rights reserved.

Writing 201: Poetry… Fog


Day 5 of my WP poetry course and I am suffering badly with the mother of all flus and a cough that won’t quit.

My head is a mess of jumbled gibberish. I can barely form a coherent thought. I want to go back to bed and die.

But, I click to see my assignment for today is to compose an elegy, using elegiac couplets, incorporating a metaphor, all inspired by the prompt word fog.

No worries then! (yep sarcasm rears its ugly head!)

I thought I might as well embrace the fact my poor little brain¬†is muddled and write about the fog inside my flu-filled head. Elegy is definitely¬†not my usual style and I did find this exercise a challenging one… ¬†but that is why I signed up, to be stretched out of my comfort zone!

I have to say, kudos to Ben Huberman, this course has been some of the best fun I’ve had in a while!

Here we go, I offer you my very, very humble elegy to brain fog!

Fog

Murky muddled mess of mixed up emotions

Ideas, thoughts, confusions and notions,

I struggle to make any sense from this smog,

I cannot find my way through this fucking brain fog!

Thick, sticky peasoup, brainstew, in my head…

I fear that all hope for mental clarity… is dead.

As usual, I am not very pleased with my result, but as I feel so dreadful today I went with the “fuck it, it’ll do!” philosophy…

Feedback people… always welcome!

Ciao!

ūüíč

Copyright, 2015 k1kat.com

All rights reserved.