Oops! I Did It Again…

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I have done it again…

Once more, I have opened myself up, offered too much of myself and once more, I have received little in return other than hurt and disappointment.

Will I ever learn?

Why do people suck others dry?

Are they Thoughtless? Depressed? Insecure? Selfish? Unaware?

Does it even matter?

What matters is that I somehow, (and I find this nigh on impossible), I somehow have to find a way to be me and also protect me. My natural leaning is towards helping people, listening, trying to be a support and of use to them. I need to find a way to continue to fulfil this inner need in me, whilst not losing myself in the process.

This is a challenge; one that I have faced and failed at many, many times already. But hey, that’s life I guess… Gotta pick myself up, put myself back together and begin afresh.

And next time, I must remember that advice they give you on airplanes…

Put on your own life jacket before you help others coz you can’t help anyone else if you are drowning yourself.

Wish me luck?

Ciao!

💋

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All rights reserved.

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29 thoughts on “Oops! I Did It Again…

  1. Luck!
    Setting boundaries/ shielding myself has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to learn – and while it’s getting easier it’s still a challenge.

  2. The worst part for me is the guilt that comes with it. I’m mad at them but even more mad at myself for letting them in. It is because I am a good person and sometimes you have to be a not so nice person and it hurts inside to do that. Be brave and try to what’s best for you. That’s what I remind myself.

  3. Good Luck but don’t stop taking chances on people, just because there are narcissists out there. It is a danger of being a kind and considerate person. Do not let that one person spoil the experience of you for the rest of the world.

  4. It is very hard when you have a deep need to help others to set boundaries and not to be taken advantage of.
    Sometimes, you learn. Or you become mean, I don’t know. My ex has just asked my eldest to ask me if he could borrow my edger. I mean, we’re talking about the man who lashes at me all the time, saying that I am making his kids lazy and am a gold digger. And all of a sudden, he would like for me to do something for him? But he knows that I would probably not say yes to him directly, so he asks the kids to do it for him? Seriously? So I told the kids that no, if he wanted an edger, he could get his own. buy it or borrow it from a friend. You don’t use my garage as a dumping ground but then expect me to lend you something out of it. If you want someone to help you out, you better not antagonise them.
    I’m slowly learning to say no and become more selfish 🙂

    Good luck!

  5. Hey Britney, stop it, right!

    Remember my motto – People are c**ts.

    Next time just say, stop whining at me ya little cissy. Man up and pay for a therapist you cheapskate!

    Seriously though, you are too kind hearted. You need to mind yourself.

  6. I think if it’s your nature to help and to be open to love, friendship, giving, etc. you always take that chance of being treated like crap, but I always think, how can you fight your nature? Do what you can, but I agree, take care of you too. 🙂
    Big hugs, I’m sorry you got treated like that.

  7. Reciprocation is always nice; we give, they give… but if we always expect it, well, that can be kinda unreasonable and more so when, in a lot of cases, you don’t really know what the other person has to give. When we run into a lack of giving, it can hurt us but, worse (I think), is that we pull back and “vow” not to be so open and giving and that makes us less than the person we know ourselves to be (or who we want to be). We now feel this need to protect against future occurrences which can prevent us from being fully involved in a future relationship (of some kind) and can even send signals to someone that could make them not want to be with us.

    So what do you do about it? Give as good as you get; if they go all-out, you go all out – if they don’t, well, you give them the equivalent of what they give you. It allows you to protect yourself while having something “in reserve” if they begin to give more of themselves. Sometimes, putting all your cards on the table for someone can leave you wide open for the exact thing you want to prevent – getting hurt in some way. But, I’ve found, we should learn to think more than we let our emotions run things, to be more “analytical” about situations so we can gauge, as best we can, how much of ourselves we want to put out there for someone.

    In my opinion, this is safer than throwing up a lot of walls and diminishing ourselves. It’s better to work to be smarter than it is to just run and hide when our expectations of reciprocation aren’t met. We have to realize that some folks just can’t give us what we can give them so if we expect them to do this, we’re gonna get hurt each and every time.

  8. Aw, sis, I know it’s hard. I’m so sorry! Being in the same boat, I don’t know what to say to make it better; we are who we are. We can try to change that, but it won’t work. You will keep being the strong, caring, supportive person you are/ you just need time outs. Days, weeks, months, to focus on what you need. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary.

    You know I’m always here for you. Heaven knows you’ve been there for me!! 🙂 (And listen to KF. 😉 ) Now, I’m pouring the wine, and pulling out the good chocolate… when should I expect you? 😉

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