This week’s word is…
Isn’t that a lovely sounding word? Isn’t the concept lovely too? The state of being drowsy or sleepy… zzzzz 😴
Uh… I long to feel somnolence… at bedtime please!
Hello, my name is Kat and I am an insomniac.
My bedtime routine:
- Go to bed
- Take herbal relaxation remedies
- Start to feel dozy
- Turn off my light and…
- Wide a-fucking-wake!
So I lie there, trying to not stress about the fact that my somnolence has decided to piss right off to who knows where. I keep my eyes closed, do visualisation and relaxation exercises, breathe, avoid looking at the clock. After a while, it becomes very clear that sleep is about as likely to happen as my cell phone ringing with Leonardo Di Caprio on the line asking me to run away with him on his yacht. At this point I usually need to get up to use the bathroom, and from here on in, this trip happens on the hour, every hour, (yes, I’ve wondered if I am actually a 55 year old man with prostate issues…), until around 4am when I decide I might as well go downstairs and see if anyone is on the Twitter machine.
I usually return to bed around 5-5.30 to lie there waiting for the OH alarm to go off, when it’s time for me to make him a cup of tea. I am resigned to the fact that the following day is pretty much fucked due to my fatigue, crankiness, discombobulation and the intense, insatiable hunger pangs I will experience all day.
(FYI,the hunger is a real thing you guys… here is the science behind it, if you are interested… yes, I’m a science geek!)
I have read all the sleep hygiene rules, and we even, wait for it… took the TV out of the bedroom. Nada.
What’s more, if I can sleep, it is only under precise conditions…
- Total darkness; blackout blinds are a necessity.
- Total silence; sharing a bed with a snorer that can be heard downstairs from the bedroom means I buy a lot of ear plugs.
- Cool cotton or linen sheets; sweaty polycotton or anything less than 100% natural is a no-no.
- A duvet that is ‘just right’; too hot, (last night), too cold… either way it, wrecks any hope of sleep.
The OH calls me “The Princess and the Pea’ and yet… he introduced not one, but two dogs into our bed.
You seriously would not believe the disruption caused by a teeny tiny Bichon and a very small Cavachon in your bed. We bought a very, vulgarly, outrageously, expensive bed and mattress, the stuff the likes of which NASA would envy, kingsize… and yet we both cling to the edge of the bed like limpets as the two canines crawl around, scratch, make their ‘nests’ and dream-bark.
Poppy in particular likes to wake you at any goddamned time she sees fit by licking your face/toes/ear…
Lily has taken to sleepwalking and, after a little thump signalling she has jumped ship, can often be found at the side of the bed with a manic gleam in her eyes and a massive grin on her little face, panting like a demon.
So, yes, I chose the word somnolence, for a sensation that I do experience, just not at the times I want to experience it.
Wish me luck tonight people… Hey! Maybe I’ll be back here at 4am seeing if any of you are on? Laters!