Word for Wednesday (W4W) #38


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Play along here!

This week’s word is…

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Apparently I suffer with this affliction.

The OH subscribes to the basic premise that “people are cunts” and that the world is not a friendly or good place.

If this makes him the North Pole then I am the South.

I am Lesley Knope and he is Ron Swanson.

*I believe that people, for the vast majority, are inherently good, strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet and that the world is full of love and potential to be even better.

He looks at me with a mixture of sadness, affection and wistfulness when I say these things, as if it would break his hurt to burst my bubble. He tells me I live in a bubble most times; a place where everything is lovely, where good triumphs over evil and where everything always works out in the end.

My bubble has been somewhat burst of late, and it saddens me.

Recently, I have witnessed people being utterly selfish and cruel, not giving so much as a thought to how their actions impact on the lives and feelings of others. I have experienced it first hand and watched helplessly as people close to me have had the same things happen to them. It makes me doubt my philosophy that people are good, that the world can be a kind and happy place.

Why are people so mean? Why? I have always opted to believe people’s nastiness is borne from their own feelings of sadness or insecurity and they feel a need to spread their misery around. I still think this could well be the root cause of people being horrible to each other but I am less inclined to let it slide anymore.

If you are sad, have had a horrible day, or feel bad about yourself, that does NOT give you the right to make anyone else’s life more difficult or unhappy. If you feel bad either ask for help, find way through or do whatever you need to do but do not take it out on innocent bystanders. Trust me, you will not feel better in the long run by infecting others with your misery.

You do not rise higher by putting other people down.

I am going to try very hard to maintain my inherent belief that people are good… I refuse to be dragged down. I will not join the OH in his opinion that “people are cunts”.

If the only thing I can do to help him and other people I love deal with the shit that life throws at us all is to be their Little Miss Sunshine then that is what I will do.

This world needs people to believe in beauty, even if it’s hard to see sometimes.

The world needs us deluded dreamers. Don’t you think?

Ciao!

💋

*footnote: Buzzfeed is never wrong!

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Copyright, 2015, k1kat.com
All rights reserved.

Skin


A story for Hallowe’en….
Enjoy!

illicit thoughts

I see her everyday but she doesn’t see me.

She walks with confident purpose, head held high, spine straight as a ballerina, eyes sharp and focused. I watch her enter the building, check her mailbox and imagine the click of her heels as she makes her way to the elevator, the black and white image on my monitor highlighting her porcelain skin.

Apartment 42B. That’s where she lives. I switch cameras to watch her hit the button in the lift. She almost always glances in the mirrored wall of the elevator and runs her fingers through the long dark waves that cascade over her shoulders. Unless she has her hair up; those days she pulls out the pins and lets it tumble free down her back, as if she cannot bear to keep it constrained for another minute longer. I wonder what those waves smell like…

After watching her walk…

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Word for Wednesday (W4W) #37


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Play along here!

This week’s word is…

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Ah dreams! I am a big dreamer and always try to remember mine and frequently google them to try to work out their meanings. Many times the meanings really do relate to something happening in my life at the time. But then again, I guess you could argue, as with horoscopes, it’s all down to interpretation!

I get terrible nightmares where I wake up screaming – I actually purposefully wake myself up. It is difficult to explain, but the thing that happens in this recurrent nightmare is so awful, I feel an overwhelming need to escape it. I often experience a form of sleep paralysis where I can feel myself desperately trying to scream but my throat closes and won’t allow me to do so. It’s horrible. But I do manage to eventually wake myself and usually the OH too.

Other times I can experience lucid dreaming, which is wonderful! Or I can wake from a pleasurable dream and return to it if I try to, which is also a great feeling. And yes, I can have those dreams… the highly pleasurable ones… you know what I am talking about! Oh those are the BEST!

However, (as the word is used in film theory to represent a dreamlike/surreal state), I suspect I will pass through today in an oneiric fog, due to the fact that I got barely any sleep at all the last two nights. I have a busy day ahead of me and, whereas all I want to do is snuggle back under the duvet and snooze, I must get on with my usual chores.

I apologise for the short and distinctly poor W4W offering today, but I think you guys and gals will take pity on a blurry eyed, messy haired blogger, sitting in her bed with tea, trying her best to produce something!

My only hope is that tonight I will sleep and, with a bit of luck, enjoy a couple of good dreams and no nightmares.

Tell me about your dreams!

Ciao!

💋

Copyright, 2015, k1kat.com
All rights reserved.

Random Facts About Me – Food


I am awesome with eggs.

I prefer instant coffee to filter, unless I am out and can get a really good Americano.

I make my coffee with three heaped teaspoons and couldn’t imagine only using one as the jar suggests.

I prefer my toast to go cold before I butter it. Soggy buttery toast is not good.

The smell and taste of cucumber makes me nauseous.

I cannot understand why people eat mint sauce with lamb… seriously? Why?

The same goes for horseradish and anything.

If I had a Facebook status regarding food it would read “It’s Complicated”.

I often think of what to make for dinner before I’ve even had breakfast.

I always eat breakfast.

I am THAT woman that takes photos of her food to post to twitter.

I have instigated a rule with my bestie that we must send each other photos of our dinners.

She loves food as much as I do and gets ridiculously overexcited about leftovers.

I have never tasted anything Thai.

I do not see the point of cod – bland, flavourless, blah.

I love cheese but rarely allow myself to eat it.

Cold pizza rules.

I save a morsel of my dinner to treat the dogs once I am finished eating. They stare me down.

I have been caught perving on fellow diners food while eating out.

You do not want to be near me when I am hungry.

This:

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Copyright, 2015, k1kat.com

All rights reserved.

My Demon


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This sums me up.

I have an insanely self-destructive nature. Always have had, for as long as I can remember.

I self-sabotage, self-harm, repeat mistakes whilst fully aware that I am doing so. I drive myself, (and people who care about me), crazy.

I have one massively self-destructive habit in particular that I simply cannot seem to shake off.

My Dark Demon.

I am aware of it; actually, it takes up far too much space in my head every waking, (and frequently dreaming), moment.

I know I need to stop it. I need to confront it and deal with it.

It is detrimental to my health and well-being, emotionally, psychologically and physically.

I have tried to fix this on my own with zero success but I am loath to seek any help from outside.

Why? I do not know.

I tend to think I am a strong person with most aspects of life. I have overcome more than my fair share of adversity and survived.

I generally have this attitude to life:

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But this one thing lingers.

Sits on my shoulders and weighs me down.

I feel unable to find that power within myself. It feels impossible. Hopeless.

I know this week is not the week I will conquer this demon, but I truly hope I’ll get there… sooner rather than later.

💋

Copyright, 2015, k1kat.com
All rights reserved.

Writing this was meant to help me focus and work this out. Seems I have failed at that too!