30 thoughts on “Internal Monologue

    • I’ll speak for me here: it’s not what others are trying to make you believe that was the problem, it’s what that inner voice was telling me. Granted, it’s because of what others tried to make me believe, but because I grew up with it, it became who I was. It’s much harder to fight for yourself against that little evil voice.

      • There is no one solution, you’re right about that voice inside you being hard to ignore, it’s your own voice, I struggled with it most of my life that voice that pulls at you, three years ago it broke me, that voice is still there, I’m gaining ground, building myself up, but that voice remains. You battle it however you can.

      • Exactly. I am happy that I managed to tell it to go f**k itself.
        It still tries to come back, I had such an event just 2 days ago. But at least now I’m able to see it for what it is. I realise how lucky I am 🙂
        Sorry you’re battling with this.

      • Then I send you hugs if you’ll accept them.
        What I told Kat below is how I started healing. Maybe it could help you too?

      • I am so happy to read this. If you need someone… a listening ear or something of the kind… just drop me a line 🙂
        Good luck!

  1. Sending hugs!
    The thing that did the trick for me was to do affirmations. I started with repeating the things that my then FWB told me. “You’re a beautiful woman with great curves and lots of charm”. Every time I stepped in front of a mirror, I said it out loud, because obviously I hated the image the mirror was sending back.
    Little by little, it became easier to say it, and at some point I started to actually believe it.

    Also, think about it that way. If anyone (say a roommate) was talking to your best friend and said these things to her, you’d step up and tell 1) her that this is BS, she’s a strong, positive, vibrant woman who is also compassionate and a brilliant writer. and 2) the other person to shut the fuck up, and if they really think so little of your friend, to go fuck themselves and move out.

    Be your best friend, no one else can do it as good as you.

    (and yes, I know it’s not easy. I’m just putting it in writing because I think the fact you dared put it out here, in writing too, means you’re ready to hear this, and want to do something to stop it. If I managed to do it, you can do it too!)

    And finally, I’m sending you loving hugs. And you’re welcome to use my words any time to do affirmations if you want 🙂


  2. Oh, one final word: let him decide what he deserves. If he feels he deserves better, then he’s a big boy and can take action. If he’s still here, there might be a reason. Maybe he thinks he’s pretty lucky to have hit the jackpot and found YOU, beautiful, caring, incredibly creative YOU.

    (and again, I know *that* voice all too well. I am still afraid mine will decide I’m not worth all the trouble. But… we can’t take other people’s emotions on, it’s for them to sort them out!).


  3. I love you Kat.
    I love that you continue to support me, even when you are struggling with your own problems.

    I hope you can find your way through this x

  4. Sending you love, gorgeous lady. Know that you’re a sweety and I have loved sharing this online space with you, your encouragement and support are amazing. I know it doesn’t help, but I value having met you here. Take care XX

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