I blogged on Tuesday about my WP absence and the difficult time I have been having and today I am very happy to tell you that I am back to what passes for normal for Kittykat.
I underwent a couple of not very pleasant procedures called a hysteroscopy and a D&C a month ago. They were a long time coming, as I had deferred and rescheduled them several times due to chest infections and generally being a total scaredy-kat about the whole general anaesthetic thing. However, I got through it and came out the other side, bruised, bleeding and sore but in one piece.
Lying in bed afterwards, still groggy from the GA, the young doctor stood beside me and casually dropped the C-bomb on me. I had no idea cancer was even a possibility, so this came as quite the shock. In retrospect, the doctor really should have waited for me to be more alert and should certainly have waited until the OH had returned to be with me while she spoke to me.
I went home, having been told that my biopsy was being marked urgent, as the procedure revealed some ‘suspicious’ things, and that I would return for results about whether or not I had cancer within 4 weeks.
Way to break the news!
I spent four weeks making dreadfully dark jokes about having cancer, dying and all things morbid, (as is my way…). I think the OH deserves an award of some sort for putting up with me. I did my research online and basically resigned myself to the fact that I would be facing a hysterectomy and that was that. Pragmatic Kat.
Yesterday, I went to get my results. On the drive in we spotted a single magpie and of course I made a joke about that. We talked nonsense in between asking each other if we were ok, (we said we were but we weren’t). We touched hands and exchanged glances a lot more than was probably safe whilst driving.
When we reached the hospital I suddenly felt more tense than I had through the entire four weeks previously, suddenly tearful and anxious. Vulnerable.
My name was called and a pleasant doctor spoke the words everyone facing a cancer diagnosis wants to hear, “Your histogolgy came back good.” My chances of developing cancer over the next 20 years are less than 5%… I’ll take those odds thank you very much!
I felt, after my cryptic blog posts, that I owed y’all and explanation and, boy, am I happy to be giving this one rather than the much less happy one I had rehearsed in my head for weeks.
I confided in a few people I consider good friends on twitter, and I have to say, they were absolutely amazing in their kindness and support. I really am blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. Who says twitter friends aren’t ‘real’? They say you know who your true friends are when the shit hits the fan… this was proven to me recently.
My bestie and soul sister Feli was amazing too. She was, as always, a quiet, solid source of strength for me and I am truly grateful to her for telling me I was simply not allowed to have cancer. (And for carrying on as normal in the meanwhile, discussing all the most important things in life, ie; sex and food.)
And as for the OH… where do I begin? The man was there. 100% there. He gave me space to make bad jokes, to be moody, to be silly, to get disgustingly drunk, to be whatever I needed to be. I want to publicly thank him for, as clichéd as it is, being my rock.
And so my friends, that is my news! Its good. I feel lighter than I have in months. I can breathe again!
Fret not, I will still bitch and moan about being ugly/fat/useless/depressed… I am still me after all.
But for today I am smiling.
And listen to me – If you notice anything odd happening to your body, do this…
GO TO THE DOCTOR!
Make the call now.
Don’t be a scaredy-kat.
Don’t put it off.
I spent two years, (yes, really), being silly and burying my head in the sand and I still got amazingly lucky.
Don’t be a twit like me.
And go hug someone you love!
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