Here We Go Again…

2016 was a horrible year. There I said it.

It took so many talented and wonderful people from us.

We had the appalling atrocities in Syria, the refugee crisis and the depressing lack of compassion displayed by people around the world. We had the rise of the far right across Europe. We saw devastating acts of terrorism against ordinary people just living their lives. We had Brexit and its horrendous aftermath which saw some parts of society seeming to think the decision made racism and bigotry a perfectly acceptable thing.

And then we had Trump… I cannot even go there. It still feels unreal.

I noticed so many of my friends struggle with their own physical and mental health and found it very hard to witness. It seemed this year got to everyone in one way or another.

Personally, I had a very rough year. My depression and anxiety peaked and I have yet to come out the other side. My self destructive behaviours hit an all time high; my health has suffered and I feel truly dreadful.

I can sum it up thus:img_7065

But today is the final day of this annus horribilis and we can only hope that 2017 is brighter.

I know I have a very steep mountain to climb in terms of self care and recovery and I am not looking forward to the challenges ahead. To be perfectly honest, it feels pretty impossible right now.

It will not be easy. But, unless I want to, literally, kill myself, I simply have to do it.

I truly hope next year brings you all, my readers and friends, only good things.

I wish you all good health, happiness, good fortune and good times. I know I can be a miserable old cow but underneath it all I really do care about y’all.

Here’s to better days ahead…




Copyright, 2016,

All rights reserved

Word for Wednesday (W4W) #47


Play along here!

My final W4W of 2015!

I want to say a quick, but very sincere thank you to everyone who has joined in my little meme – whether you’ve been a regular contributor or an occasional one, I am delighted you shared with me! I hope you will continue to link to W4W next year.

This week’s word is…



We are at that time of year where many people’s thoughts wander to resolutions to be better people, eat less, drink less, smoke less, detox, exercise… sigh.

I have blogged before about the days when I exercised epic, heroic feats of self control and discipline regarding my diet and lifestyle and how I eventually took it to an extreme that was no longer healthy.

These days I have done a 180° and have been eating and drinking as if the world was about to end tomorrow. Exercise? Huh? What’s that now? Does lifting the wine glass or switching the remote count? Can sneezing count as cardio?

My capacity for self control seems to have left the building and I have become a complete hedonist.

Food tastes so good and that feeling of a full tummy is so satisfying. Wine tastes so good and that delicious buzz after a few glasses is such fun. Touch, massage, sex, orgasms… well come on! These are the things that make life worth living!

However, I know deep in my heart that I must have a change of attitude. My clothes are too tight, my energy is low, my sleep pattern wrecked. I think I have lost balance and my hedonistic ways, whilst they brought me enormous pleasure, have had a negative impact on my life.

My plan is thus: I will continue my naughty, self indulgent celebration of excess for a few more days and, once 2016 is with us, I will endeavour to turn over a new leaf.

My challenge is to strive for a balance this time. Monday to Friday I shall do my utmost to be “good” – I will eat well, drink less and move more. The weekends will be my designated hedonistic fun times.

Sounds so reasonable, yes? Sounds so simple…

Sounds simple… but remember, simple and easy are not the same things!

Let’s see how I go, right?



I wish you all a very Happy New Year and I truly hope 2016 brings you all only good health, good fortune and good times

Copyright, 2015,

All rights reserved.